see if there be any hurtful way in me,
Psalm 139:24 is a Bible verse written by King David, where he is asking God to search the depths of his heart to see if there is anything there that might cause pain to others.
It is my prayer that this personal story will be an encouragement to you.
In my personal pursuit of financial freedom God’s way, I asked Him as David did in Psalm 139:24 if there was any hurtful way in me. Soon He began revealing to me that I held grudges in my heart, which needed to be cleared out. “Grudge” is another word for unforgiveness.
As I looked to Him for help, He revealed to me a very stressful time in our family when my husband and I had both lost our jobs and we didn’t have money to pay our electric bill. I had called our provider to request a payment arrangement—not free service, just more time to pay our bill in full.
Even though we had been faithful customers to this provider for more than 25 years, they refused any help or payment arrangement that would have allowed us to keep our power on past the due date of our bill. They cut our power off.
Not only was I embarrassed at having to call in the first place to ask for help, but I was completely frustrated and angry because of their response. I felt cheated, hurt and angry.
When we eventually got the help we needed to get our power back on, for God provided a different way, we changed providers. Though time passed and our financial situation eventually got better, I harbored a grudge (resentment) in my heart toward not only the individual person I spoke with, but the entire company.
On another occasion, it was our mortgage company. During that same rocky financial time we needed help keeping up with payments. Our mortgage company offered what they called an “assistance program” for those who had lost their jobs and needed help.
So when we pursued that program, it turned out to be a lot of red tape that was no help at all. Not only was the “assistance program” a false claim, they proceeded to file a foreclosure notice on our home. Again, we felt angry, hurt and cheated.
Example number three: the government healthcare program. Like many others, though we could not afford the premiums and could not sign up, we were financially penalized.
When our financial storm finally began to subside, the anger and hurt from all of those things moved from the surface, right into the depth of my heart. You can call it a grudge, resentment or bitterness. It all amounts to one thing: unforgiveness.
Jesus saiid in Matthew 11:26, "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."
When I asked God to remove the obstacles that stood between my family and prosperity, like Psalm 139:24 says, He began to show me the resentment in my heart toward these institutions (companies and the government).
God revealed to me where the infection was, which was anger and resentment. It took time, but one-by-one He helped me release those things to Him, remembering that I also am a sinner, saved by His grace. Just as I am forgiven, I must extend mercy to not only those institutions as a whole, but the individuals who make up those institutions. (Romans 2:1)
Was it easy? No, but it was more than worth the process. My resentment was blocking the flow of blessings God wanted to give me and my family. You see, unforgiveness in your heart not only hinders you, but your family from receiving the abundance of God’s house.
With God’s help and mercy, I now have peace in my heart toward those people and the institutions which mistreated me and my family. There is nothing like the peace and contentment of a healthy heart. Forgiveness will do that! But be aware it is a continual process.
What about you? Was it a school, a government agency, a past employer that cheated or mistreated you in some way? Maybe the answer is obvious, or maybe you need to examine your heart.
God will help you. He is our Counselor, our Heavenly Father. He knows what is buried in our hearts and He is waiting for us to pursue the truth, to give us the eyes and the courage to see it.
We have to trust Him to help us along that path. He is exceedingly patient with us, very gentle and ever so faithful.
As you go down that road, here is a list that might help stir your memory. Be honest with yourself and honest with God. Start where you can, but just begin. The healing, peace, blessings and rewards in Christ are so worth it.
· Other nations
Clean out your heart, so it can sparkle with the righteousnes of Jesus Christ. Study the Bible verse of Psalm 139:24, and know God’s grace is sufficient.
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