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Marriage and Relationships

Psalm 45:11 (NASB)

Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.

Bible Commentary

Psalm 45:11 is a very intriguing Bible verse that expresses God’s pleasure toward His bride because of a fundamental order in marriage with Him.

First of all, let’s look at what caused the King to desire His bride’s beauty. Psalm 45:10 says, 

Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:
Forget your people and your father’s house;


It is very important to see the instruction in verse 10, and what follows in Psalm 45:11, which is the word then.

Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.

There is a great peace, rest and joy in this perfect arrangement that God created between Himself and His bride, which is also the model for our own marriage and family relationships.


Love is so powerful. It can and has conquered all. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (John 3:16). Jesus Christ on the cross is proof of the power of that love.

We get to experience a glimpse of this powerful emotion when we fall in love and get married. But in order to have a kingdom marriage, we must follow kingdom order (Psalm 45:10).

As children under the authority and leadership of our parents, we are to honor our fathers and mothers (Ephesians 6:2), just as the Bible says. God said in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

It can be difficult to break the authoritative bond from that masculine figure from our childhood, whether you had a good relationship with your father or not. Our fathers have a God-given authority over us.

When God said in Genesis 2:24 we shall “leave” our father and mother, He is relinquishing, or giving us permission to come out from under that authority when we become adults.

In fact, the Hebrew meaning of the word “leave” from this verse is: to loosen, relinquish, permit.

Back to Psalm 45:10. When God says to “forget your people and your father’s house,” this is what He is referring to. The Hebrew meaning of “forget” is: to mislay, to be oblivious of, from want of memory or attention.

In other words, we mustn't seek attention from our parents or chase after their approval. They have no more authority over us. We are adults. This applies financially, as well.

We must begin taking responsibility for ourselves, in all areas of our lives. We still honor our father and mother—that never changes, but we can respect them without needing things from them, whether it’s money, attention or approval.

Unlocking the Truth - Righteous Fellowship

In order to enjoy the abundance of righteous fellowship in marriage, the way God desires with us, His bride, we must forget our people and our father’s house. Come out from under their authority. Love and honor them, yes, but don’t cling to them any longer.

We forfeit the full blessing of God’s intended order for marriage if we never fully leave our father and mother. Take a look:

Psalm 45:11 says after we come out from under their authority, then the King will desire our beauty.


The word “desire” in Hebrew means: to wish for, covet, greatly desire, long, lust after. The word “beauty” in Hebrew means: to be bright, be beautiful, be fair.

This sounds like something a groom would feel toward his new bride—he longs for her with his heart and with his body. He sees her as bright and beautiful, and He greatly desires her.

How does God Almighty portray His longing for His bride in this way? Through our spouse, or if you are single, through your future spouse. 

Ladies, in God’s perfect design for family, He loves us emotionally and physically through our husband.

Psalm 45:11 Then the King will desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord bow down to Him.

God desires to cut through all the chaos and confusion of unrighteous fellowship (wrong emotional ties) from the past, and nourish our heart and our body with Himself.

We have difficulty seeing (and receiving) God through our spouse because those wrong emotional ties cloud our vision. We become disillusioned in our marriage because our spouse falls short of our expectations.

We however, are responsible for that shortfall if we are still dependent upon our fathers or mothers for that which we expected (and wanted) to receive from our spouse.

The key to an open channel for the power of God’s love to come beaming through is to relinquish the ties from previous relationships, and give them completely to Him. God sets the captive free (Isaiah 61:1). We must trust Him to nourish us completely through our spouse. 

He is enough.

Then the King will desire your beauty.
Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him. Psalm 45:11

God alone can heal and restore your heart and your marriage from the damage caused by the turmoil of wrong emotional ties and feelings.

Study the Bible verse of Psalm 45:11, realign yourself in His intended order for your family, so you can experience the abundance of righteous fellowship.



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