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As wives, we forget that “judge not” applies toward our husbands. He should be the first person we try to hold in high esteem, but as we focus on his flaws instead of his good qualities, our attention can be easily drawn toward someone else who displays the attributes we don’t currently see in our husbands. We must be careful not to follow the desires birthed from frustrations in our marriage.

Galatians 5:24
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Most certainly, for every fault we see in our husband it is mirrored back to us. Instead of trying to “fix” him, we must seek God for the truth in our own hearts and fix us. Amazingly, when we get better, our husband gets better. Try it and see!

3)   Suspicion

Along with the little foxes of disrespect and judgment comes disillusionment. Marriage doesn’t turn out to be what we dreamed it would be. We expected our emotion of love to stay as strong as it was in the beginning, but the reality of life has set in and the little foxes have crept in.

Along with disillusionment comes suspicion. We can let any little thing turn into a big thing in our imagination. Suspicion feeds on fear. The little foxes multiply and the separation between husband and wife becomes wider and wider—in communication, in affection and in relationship.

Commitment is easily uprooted if we base our marriage on how we feel instead of on the vow we made before God in the presence of witnesses. We must remember that God takes our marriage vow very seriously. The consequences of trying to escape a failing marriage for some semblance of happiness (the grass is greener on the other side) can be devastating. (Be aware, I’m not talking about an abusive relationship. If you suffer harm at your spouse’s hand, you should seek safety for yourself and your children.)

When we are disillusioned with our husband, the sounds of suspicion ring loud over any little thing. We allow doubt about his love for us to creep in, and our insecurities are magnified. Left unspoken, suspicion and insecurity drive us farther apart.

We must not think the worst of him, but the best. We must discipline ourselves to look for his good qualities and thank God for them. We must thank God for our husbands. We must look for things to praise our husbands for and make a practice of it.

4)   Unforgiveness

Do you hold a grudge in your heart toward your husband? Women particularly have a difficult time with this. I speak from experience.

If you don’t know the answer to this question, take it to God and ask Him to reveal the truth, so that you can be healthy in your heart and begin to get healthy in your marriage. It may take a period of time to clean out your heart, but He will gently guide you on a journey of forgiveness and healing. You won’t believe how free you can feel when your heart is clear of grudges, for a grudge is nothing more than unforgiveness.

Mark 11:26 NASB says, “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”

Forgiveness is at the root of who Jesus is and what He taught. Forgiveness sets us free. When we’re holding grudges and resentment in our heart toward our husband, it blocks the flow of the Holy Spirit from moving freely through us. Unforgiveness makes us unhealthy in our spirit and can make us unhealthy in our bodies.

A healthy marriage starts with a healthy heart. When you discover what’s hidden in your heart, you can begin the journey back to the joy of feeling love again.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Ask God to help you clean out your heart, and He will show you the joys of marriage—your marriage to Him and to your husband.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

There is life in forgiveness. There is healing in thankfulness. There is honor in respecting your husband. The brightness of hope surfaces in the face of Jesus Christ—the truth. And when we treat our husband like He is Jesus, we begin to see Jesus in him.

Study the Bible verse of Song of Solomon 2:15 and walk with Christ as you discover the little foxes together so you can know the fullness of joy in marriage.

More Bible Verses About Marriage